So, this week has been a week of trials and some good. You often wonder why God tests you to the point of feeling as if you are going to break as you wonder if how much you should continue to have faith in Him.
The trials have included worries about finances as we wonder if our finances will be blessed. My husband’s health as even tonight he may have had a TIA. We had tests down this week and wait for the results. Yet I worry as these TIA episodes are occuring more frequently in the last few months. Then, his care while starting a new class.
As I start this new class, the webpage for my class does not want to cooperate – it is the only webpage on my computer not working so I was told it was my connection. Yet, wanting to fix it on my own (and not listening to helpdesk), I decided to do a system restore and see if something was causing the problem. Taking too long, I stopped the program and managed to crash my computer. Yep…the computer that has all my important stuff on it and what I use for school – crashed and burn. After much hair pulling, I found a way to back up all important documents and restored everything through a clean sweep and restore of my computer.
More panic came as I remembered all the software was still packed away along with any registration numbers, etc. for such software. So, last night was spent worrying about all that needed to be done to find and reload the software. Thus, this morning was spent climbing over snow tires and other boxes in our storage in search of software. Managed to walk away with a few scratches and near falls but I survived the adventure and found what I needed quickly. I was able to restore most of my laptop though there are a few things that need figuring out like how to restore my spare monitor.
These trials and storms remind me that I have a weakness that does not always call on the Lord in prayer. I must admit I need to do more of it and not go into panic mode. I need to rely on God more during these storms as my husband, even with not him not feeling well, prayed in the background.
Furthermore, as I fought the depression, I saw these words from a bible study called Girls with Swords by Lisa Bevere:
“Don’t allow the surrounding pressure to depress you or oppress you. Don’t allow the enemy to cause you to imagine it is an invitation to a beating. The pressure from all sides is part of a divine plan to mold and fashion you into someone with substance and depth. You will come out of this womb of tempering, drawing a breath of strength.”
Yes, even during these storms and trials, I need to remind myself that God does have a plan for us and that I need Him and I will not allow the enemy to drag me into depression or fits of panic since I am a warrior daughter of the most high King and He will help me through these storms and out of the “shadow of death” or depression.
In conclusion, as I write this blog and study God’s word, I am feeling that peace and know that God is in control with our finances, my husband’s health, and even when a computer crashes. Yet, now as I finish this blog, I was tested again and failed when I thought the blog had disappeared.
I won’t end with a question but with a reminder that we will fail at times even during a test yet we still need to focus on Him and submit to God and His will.