Life and Storms

So, this week has been a week of trials and some good.  You often wonder why God tests you to the point of feeling as if you are going to break as you wonder if how much you should continue to have faith in Him.

The trials have included worries about finances as we wonder if our finances will be blessed.  My husband’s health as even tonight he may have had a TIA.  We had tests down this week and wait for the results.  Yet I worry as these TIA episodes are occuring more frequently in the last few months.  Then, his care while starting a new class.

As I start this new class, the webpage for my class does not want to cooperate – it is the only webpage on my computer not working so I was told it was my connection.  Yet, wanting to fix it on my own (and not listening to helpdesk), I decided to do a system restore and see if something was causing the problem.  Taking too long, I stopped the program and managed to crash my computer.  Yep…the computer that has all my important stuff on it and what I use for school  – crashed and burn. After much hair pulling, I found a way to back up all important documents and restored everything through a clean sweep and restore of my computer.

More panic came as I remembered all the software was still packed away along with any registration numbers, etc. for such software.  So, last night was spent worrying about all that needed to be done to find and reload the software.  Thus, this morning was spent climbing over snow tires and other boxes in our storage in search of software.  Managed to walk away with a few scratches and near falls but I survived the adventure and found what I needed quickly.  I was able to restore most of my laptop though there are a few things that need figuring out like how to restore my spare monitor.

These trials and storms remind me that I have a weakness that does not always call on the Lord in prayer.  I must admit I need to do more of it and not go into panic mode.  I need to rely on God more during these storms as my husband, even with not him not feeling well, prayed in the background.

Furthermore, as I fought the depression, I saw these words from a bible study called Girls with Swords by Lisa Bevere:

“Don’t allow the surrounding pressure to depress you or oppress you.  Don’t allow the enemy to cause you to imagine it is an invitation to a beating.  The pressure from all sides is part of a divine plan to mold and fashion you into someone with substance and depth.  You will come out of this womb of tempering, drawing a breath of strength.”

Yes, even during these storms and trials, I need to remind myself that God does have a plan for us and that I need Him and I will not allow the enemy to drag me into depression or fits of panic since I am a warrior daughter of the most high King and He will help me through these storms and out of the “shadow of death” or depression.

In conclusion, as I write this blog and study God’s word, I am feeling that peace and know that God is in control with our finances, my husband’s health, and even when a computer crashes.  Yet, now as I finish this blog, I was tested again and failed when I thought the blog had disappeared.

I won’t end with a question but with a reminder that we will fail at times even during a test yet we still need to focus on Him and submit to God and His will.

The Preacher’s Kid

Last Thursday, as mentioned in my last blog, my husband and I attended a concert with Steven Curtis Chapman, Laura Story, and Jason Gray.  Each had a story – one lost a child to a horrible accident, one struggled with a husband’s illness, and another struggles with a speech impediment.  Yet God is still using each of them through a gift of music.

I learned something yesterday while talking to my mom.  She mentioned about my dad was still being used by God for ministry – yeah!  Good for him and amen that even though he just turned 70, God is still using him.

You see, he was a minister when I was a young child.  We lived in a small town and I sat in the congregation listening ot my dad preach and attending various conferences and other meetings around the state as befitting a pastor with the Assembly of God.  He left the ministry and went into carpentry to feed us five kids.

After that, life in our home seemed to change and I struggled with both my parents and being part of a somewhat dysfunctional family.  it has only been the last few years that I have seen him change as he remains involved in his local church, even leading Bible study and filling in for the pastor when he is out of town.  My dad has returned to the faith even though he was away for several years – I am proud of him.  God still can use people no matter what their life was life.

I think of my own life – I’ve had struggles and I have not always been faithful to God.  Even now, as I write this blog, I’m struggling in my faith as our finances get tighter and I need a job or someway to stay home and bring in my income; otherwise, we may lose the car – which we need – or have to throw in the towel and return back to Western Washington.  Perhaps becoming the type of kids who move back with our parents – that is the worse case scenario! Yet, I am reminded of the many times God has provided – sometimes even at the 11th hour.

Yet, as I write this, my husband encourages me to remain faithful and I’m working on a bible study called Girls with Swords by Lisa Bevere and I am studying the faith chapter in Hebrews 11 and 12.  These chapters are about people who had weaknesses yet held on to their faith even until they passed away.

Therefore, I need to remain in my faith and push forward as God continues to use me through this blog and eventually becoming a pastor as I earn my master degree.

You see, even during the times I struggled to “love” my dad during the hard times, I wanted to become a pastor like him.  I hope to someday sit at his side as he teaches me how to put together a sermon or lead a church – though i’m scared when it comes to getting in front of a crowd of people and speaking.  Yet, like the artists at the concert and my dad, God will give me the strength to do it to fulfill His purpose.

In conclusion, what weaknesses are you struggling with that are keeping you from your God’s purpose for your life?  I’m praying that even God will still use you just like He is using my dad, me, and even my husband.