Storms of Contentment


 

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed overhead as I experience the first t-storm in my trailer…though normally I am scared of storms, this one seems peaceful.  Though normally I want to hide under the bed, this time I just typed away to the pitter patter of rain drops on my roof…Perhaps its because I’m finally content in my own little home.  Or simply knowing that God is in control…

 Even my cat has been content…during the last couple of moves, she seemed stress to the point of not eating and/or getting sick; however, since we moved to the trailer, her appetite has been normal and she seems more playful like a little kitten…

 Though I’ve had a few incidents with the trailer like draining the tanks during a downpour (Yeah, that’s my life now…), thinking my fridge was about to go out (just a matter of adjusting the temperature), and dealing with bugs…yeah, I’ll have to find a way to keep really gigantic ants and flies out of my trailer

 Yet, I often worry about these little things…in some ways, I get impatient with them yet I’m working on being patient…because little things happening is a part of life.  I stress and worry about things like getting ready to go back to work…or making a good impression in my new community and church.

 Therefore, I need to let to let worry go as heard on the radio the other day when the DJ quoted the following by CS Lewis (The Collected Letters, vol 3):

Remember one is given strength to bear what happens to one, but not the 100 and 1 different things that might happen…and I’m sure God never teaches us to fear of anything…

Yeah, that’s me…I worry about 101 plus different things and constantly fearful like worried about what could happen as I prepare to start my new job…

 Or most recently…I had an interaction with someone and my analytical mind thought I had done something wrong because I didn’t hear from the person for a few days.  So I became almost physically sick from worry…yet, that was not the case.

 Yeah, I could say I have a right to fear because things have happened in my life…yet, I continue to pass through those valleys and come out stronger each time with the strength God has given me.

 Anyway, what are you worried about?  What can you do to lessen stress and worry in your life? 

According to Luke 12;25 (NIV) “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” 

As someone who needs to keep stress down due to a health concern, I’m not helping by worrying so I need to let go and turn it all over to God…and not be so fearful about what could happen.  Or just be like my cat as she cuddles with me during the storm…knowing Mama will take care of her like God, the Father, takes care of us…

 Or, like I do, take a moment, sit on the front step, and just enjoy His Creation and the wonders of the earth…meditating on his word with scripture reading and prayer.

My church life…in a small community…


The other day, I was up in the balcony preparing the sound system and the morning songs on the overhead projector…once I had things set up (well, a few hitches during the service), I felt content.  Like I had finally found the place to worship God and learn more about Him.

 

Sort of how I felt when I attended this one really big church and would greet people as they came through the doors…excited to be part of a great ministry…and to see people gathering to worship the almighty and merciful God…

 

Though the church is small, there is approximately fifty people on an average Sunday morning; although it may seem small, the people have big hearts and the messages are usually powerful.  Most recently, I attended another church where they had a congregational sing-along with other churches in the community…what a great opportunity to meet others.  Of course, me, was shy and went into my little shell…but I’m slowly coming out…as I acquaint my self with a new community and church.

 

This church was initially discovered by my parents a few years ago so they have described its wonderful atmosphere and people, who are just as my parents described.  Then, when I moved here, I checked out one church that really didn’t seem like home…it probably feels fine to others but I wanted a close knit church…like a family atmosphere…after losing my husband…it was as if God was telling me to become part of a family again after listening to several messages the topic of family.  Which does feel like family especially by those who helped with the move like the pastor and a few others before I even met them…

 

Then, I paid a visit on a Wednesday evening after cleaning out a storage unit…the atmosphere was warm and welcoming as I felt myself drawn to the point of driving over an hour each way to attend its services.  Now, that I’m here, it feels strange to have the church only ten minutes away so that took a few days to adjust to not getting up at 5:30 on a Sunday morning…though the trip was worth it especially now that I have fallen for its many valleys and the community itself.

 

Now I can be more involved like recently helping with a yard sale, going to prayer meeting (something I’ve missed doing over the years), helping with the sound system (which has its own trials as I learn) and other areas as needed…I’m even practicing to eventually sing a solo (Yikes…I don’t do good in front of people).

 

Anyway, though my pastoral license is delayed, I can still do what my heart desires…helping at a church (since part of my spiritual gifts is serving), something I have loved doing since I was a kid in a church that feels like being with family…

 

So, what is your church like?  Have you found a church to call home?  If not, I pray you find one…after all, God is about community and a church is like a community where people learn about Him while being supported during the rough times…so come home to a place of family and fellow believers tow worship Abba Father…

Ahhhh…the joys of homeownership…


I’m back…it’s been a couple of weeks of ups and downs with final move and adjusting to life with a trailer plus waiting for internet access (which I almost didn’t get but I have it now)…anyway, I guess it’s called welcome to home ownership…

 

First, the move went smoothly…some great guys from my church (the same one a second time) plus my parents helped load up the heavy furniture and off to storage we went…though I did trail dirty plant water all over the carpet (though was warned) but at least it didn’t rain.  And, it looks like that house is finally selling just in the nick of time (though, I did pray for a buyer a few weeks so guess the prayer worked)…

 

Second, came moving the cat down to the trailer…yeah, she was shocked at another move especially when the crate kept tipping over with stuff all around her during the more than one-hour trip.  Poor baby…but she’s settling in and enjoys the trailer.  Just need to keep her in due to coyotes and wildlife around the area.  Though she gets excited about the birds, cats, and other wildlife but hiding when things get a bit scary.  Sadly, our neighborhood kitty has disappeared but there are other cats around…

 

Third…then there were not one but TWO key incidents…the first incident involved coming home after shipping and cleaning up the house…I put my load in the trailer amidst all the boxes, etc.  Then I took the garbage before leaving for an errand…wait!  Where are my keys?  After searching the trailer, van, and even the ground I could not find them…but could they be in the dumpster?  So after not one dive but three dives into the dumpster…I found them buried under stuff…

 

Then the next incident…I needed to dump the tanks so excited, I found out how to do them and stepped out of my trailer, closing the door to keep kitty in.  While I draining, I discovered I locked all keys inside with kitty howling at me…yes, I met the local locksmith but I do not step out of trailer without at least one set of keys…and, while waiting for the locksmith, I managed to dump wastewater on myself…gross…then I went to the church where other people were losing keys…aye…aye…but God was there to help each of us…

 

Anyway, through a bunch of small incidents…I now I have internet and even satellite tv…my outdoor stove isn’t working…and then I blew the main breaker while cooking dinner…yes, I’ve almost been ready to give up trailer living until I realize that each time, I called out to God and my daddy, who helped me through each incident…so don’t give up even if life gets a little tough.

 

It has also helped me be more appreciative of people like my dad, my father-in-law, and even others who have helped me with minor repairs over the years…oh, please learn to handle small repairs on your own before an emergency happens…like now, I need to find out why propane is not going to outdoor stove…

 

So who do you appreciate?  Whoever it is, tell them thanks because after all:

1 Thess 5:18 ‘In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

 

So stay tunedmy dad is on vacation and I must rely on myself to figure things out…but I did drain the tanks and checked the propane on my own while tending to my little garden…and even setting up my patio area and stocking the kitchen…because, despite the funny things that happen, me and kitty are content living in this little trailer as God continues to bless and take care of us.  And, even with these incidents, its nice to sit on my front step after a long day to enjoy my new life as a homeowner…

The Delivery Process


Well, my trailer has been delivered and setup…though we had a few hiccups…like wrong delivery address and electricity issues…I have spent a couple of nights there already and everything seems to be going smoothly…even with a few worries like getting rained on…

 

First, after unloading and unpacking, I settled down…since it was a warm day, I sat on the front step and studied the scenery…on one side is a golf course and then the rest of the trailer park is surrounded by trees and mountains…plus, across, the street, is an old barn with a herd of cows!  Yeah!  I finally have my little trailer in the country…yippee!  Or should I say moo?  The simple life I’ve been dreaming about for a while…

 

Next, while talking to my mom, I had a visitor…a little kitty who I had met before…he/she wanted to come in; unfortunately, I had to put a stop since my little lady is very territorial.  Anyway, the little thing hung out with me before heading off to find another adventure…

 

That first night was interesting…I heard thumps on the roof…were wild animals breaking in?  Oh, how I worried…then it was a matter of adjusting to new sounds and a mattress; however, by the time I spent a second night, things were more comfortable…though I missed the little lady, who also missed me…and less worrisome.

 

Despite the ups and downs throughout the process, I am excited to live here…though it was cool “home” after church last night rather than facing the danger of deer on the road or even blinding sun to get to my other home.  Plus, it is about ten minutes versus over an hour…so sweet!  I don’t even have my laptop, radio, or even a working television yet so it was nice not to be distracted by gadgets except my phone…just enjoying God’s creation practically in the middle of nowhere…

 

<<sigh>> I once heard you are in the place you’re supposed to be when you’re happy…well, this new adventure called trailer is a happy and relaxed place to be…where I truly believe God is calling me to live a simple life while even ridding myself stuff.  I guess, after losing my husband, relationships are more important than stuff…

 

Well, at the same time, I do have other worries like how to light the propane oven, change the gray and black water tanks, and then supporting myself…yet, I also know I shouldn’t worry since God will take care of me.

 

After all, according to Luke 12:22 (NIV):  Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear…basically have faith for God to provide since according to verse 30 “your Father knows that you need them…” 

 

At the same time, don’t wait for things to come to you…like me, I am looking for a job; however,  I know God will provide while I work on ways to earn an income through writing or whatever God has in store for me to live this simple life.

 

So, what are you worried about?  Like me, I was worried something would go wrong with the delivery, which did happen but, overall, the delivery went smooth and I met some great people with my dad’s help…so trust God and unwind from worry…after all, like the delivery guy said, worry just stresses a person out so release the worry…deep breaths…and let God work things out for His glory.

 

Or, just bask in His marvelous creation…like my new friend who doesn’t seem to have a worry even after accidently being locked in a shed all night…

Celebrating an Old and New Birth


Yesterday, I experienced one of many firsts without my husband…though they have been tough, I manage to get through each one from our anniversary, holidays, and other milestones.  Yesterday was no different since it would’ve been his 53rd birthday…though we miss him dearly, he probably celebrated with Jesus or other family members who have passed.

 

To celebrate this day, I went to the dealer to inspect the trailer with my parents.  Not only did I inspect the trailer I am now calling Mercy, I was given a quick guide on how to handle the many hoses, gadgets, and other bells and whistles that come with the trailer.

 

The appointment started with anxiety when I showed up and they weren’t ready…I just wanted to see Mercy and touch her again…after all, it’s been two weeks since I bought her.  Oh, Mercy is a name I gave her since my van’s name is Gracie…me and my husband tended to name our vehicles.  Well, anyway, after a several minute wait, I looked out in the parking lot and there she is…clean from a “bath” and ready for inspection…it was like welcoming a new member of the family.

 

Unfortunately, within an hour, my head was overwhelmed with learning how to hook up hoses and cords…and so on.  How to turn on each function…rather to use propane or electricity…battery power or electricity and so on…then learning the difference between black water versus gray water and types of hoses to use…and so on…

 

Excitingly, she comes with a ton of bells and whistles that include an outdoor kitchen and speaker system…an amazing entertainment center plus other cool features like the awning and tons of storage.

 

Of course the downfall is deciding what to keep in the trailer, store, or bless other people with…after all, I finally decided to be a girl and splurge on some cute shoes other than black flats…then there is my princess kitty who gives me looks as I pack AGAIN…but I hope she enjoys the new home; though I’m sure she’ll be content as long as she can keep hogging the bed.

 

Well, anyway, it’s getting excited and tomorrow Mercy is delivered to my spot in a really tiny town with trees and fresh air.

 

As for my husband’s birthday, I plan to celebrate my first night in the trailer with his favorite treat of cherry pie and sparkling cider…though I have a feeling he is smiling so I raise my class to a classic husband and the new adventure I am about to embark on…

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A WONDERFUL HUSBAND 

Anyway, are there some firsts you are about to celebrate with or without a loved one?  How are you handling them?

 

 

Cherish Health and Loved Ones


Well, first, I apologize for not blogging in a while…this journey has gone down a different path and its about to go on another adventurous path.  This may be the last blog for a while especially as I wrap up my current class in World Religions.  Next week I get the adventure of interviewing a rabbi and visiting a synagogue for my final paper on Judaism.

Anyway, about 3 weeks ago, hubby landed in the hospital with another infection and another amputation.  Now he’s down to just a thumb on one of his hands.  During this time, I had my birthday but I realized spending time with him was more important so no celebration though he did make sure I had a card and balloons.  Someday soon we will celebrate…

Then, just as he recovered from that, we rushed him to the hospital again a few days later…this time with a mild heart attack and extremely high blood sugars.  If we had waited longer – like he wanted – he would have ended up in a coma.  Praise the Lord that we got him in and Type 1 Diabetes sucks.  He’s doing fine now.

Well, just when he got out, I had a minor procedure myself to remove what they thought was benign growths called fibroids.  Then, I got the results a few days ago and its the stage before cancer…I was in shock!  It had changed from the stage before that in less than 3 months…tears were shed.  I’m trying to be brave…as I prepare for more surgery and a specialist…

Just a few months ago, I was moaning because I thought I was abnormal because, other than type 2 diabetes and high bp (which praise the Lord, I’m controlling), I have been relatively healthy – not even a broken bone – my entire life!  Now this!  So cherish your health and if you think you are abnormal for having such great health, don’t!  Enjoy what you have!

I wanted to stay in bed all day long – well, still recovering from procedure – but today, I realized that is no life.  I’m going to fight and be grateful that I’m still breathing.  After all, why would God take me when He’s preparing me to be a minister?

So, now I’m in the mode of live, let God be in control…and above all, cherish your loved ones.  Another celebration has been put on hold throughout this – our 7th anniversary.  We ordered dinner in but we’ve yet to really celebrate.  So yeah I repeat myself – cherish the ones you love and its not about celebrating but spending it with the ones you love, being faithful to God, thankful for all you have, and enjoying life.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends…I will try and blog over the next several weeks.  If not, I hope to get back after the first of the year, when I start my final year (5 more classes left) until graduation.

And, I’m saying a special prayer for anyone out there who is struggling with health issues…and remember, no matter what, God is in control and He is there with you on your journey.

Praising the Lord as I Hit the Bumps in the Journey


Hello, how are you my friends?  Hope all is well as I write tonight’s blog…

So, as I write this, I will first let you know that I may not write a blog for at least a week as I prepare to focus on a final paper on a passage in the book of Micah for my class on the OT Prophets this week.  Yep, another class is about to end and that will be one more down with five more to go…if I get a chance, maybe i’ll pop in and write a few notes about the final as I discover the Lord’s lessons in this study…

Anyway, as I go through this journey of earning a degree towards a Master in Pastoral Care, I have been hit with a few bumps in terms of my own health and even my husband’s health, which have forced me to cut back my hours at the church but I won’t give it up.  I almost did but God reminded me that He wanted me there and opened my eyes to another option of cutting back hours, which I have, as I face the bumps in my journey.

  • Bump 1:  As for my health, I won’t go into details but earlier this year I was finally diagnosed with diabetes and began treatment.  Currently its just taking a med twice a day as my condition is monitored.  This has forced me to watch what I eat and focus more on natural ways to heal my body.  For the most part, I’m controlling it.
  • Bump 2:  Then, throughout the course of getting routine checkups, a biopsy has occurred with the results to be on the lookout for a concern and be treated for it…no its not the c word, yet, praise the Lord and praising the Lord that it won’t become the c word.
  • Bump 3:  Another routine test confirmed a suspicion – I have partial hearing loss…it took 20 years until I finally got a doctor to really listen and have me tested.  IF something is not right, be persistent with doctors.  Yet, I need to be tested for something else to explain the physical reason why I have partial hearing loss (thought it was from either getting hit by a baseball plus construction at work at the time).  Even need expensive hearing aids!  But praising the Lord that He’s in control…
  • Bump 4:  Finally, yet another issue has been hitting my body that has led to the discovery of low iron and hemoglobin levels – yet another round of tests coming up…yes, I’m still praising the Lord!
  • Bump 5:  My husband has been having circulation problems again and this next week he will be having an angiogram on his hip to determine the extent of lack of blood flow in his right stump…yet I’m still praising the Lord.

Well, to be honest, I haven’t always been praising the Lord – over the course of the last several days, I’ve had my scary moments and even questioned why the Lord would send me on the journey to get a degree in ministry, only to have my health be attacked like this.  Yet, I continue to praise Him even in the scary times and sought both His comfort and the comfort of my husband’s arms and strong encouraging words.

I’ve felt alone because I’ve asked for prayer from people and not getting much response…yet I still praise the Lord and I will still pray for people.  Though the storm clouds seem dark right now, I know the Son is still shining and HE is in control.

Suggestion:  Be there for people as they are going through a rough time…even if you don’t know what to say or do, just a simple I’m praying for you will work.  Being silent only makes the person(s) think you don’t care and the storm clouds seem darker.  Yet that person(s) knows they still have Jesus at their side.

Finally, no questions tonight, but just a wrap up…even if you are still silent with people, you are still loved…as we continue to praise the Lord and put our trust in Him.

Making a Difference…bit by bit


Do you ever go through your day and wonder if you are making a difference to someone, anyone or anything?  I’ve often wondered that because I’m not a big time minister yet even though I’ve been told I’d reach quite a few people…even though I’m an introvert.  Yet I know if God has plans to use me this way, then I’ll let Him work through me.

Even though I know God will use me, I had an interesting discovery this week and realized I am making a difference in someone’s life especially after writing a crazy paper about the horrors of what other people do to each other around the world…all I can say is that we need to kinder.

Anyway, we have been sponsoring a child for almost 2 years from India who was 7 at the time.  This started around Christmas as I was shopping for presents for my cat and realized we spend so much on our pets but there are kids who need our help (for animal lovers – its okay to spoil your pets).  Shortly after this thought, I was presented an opportunity to sponsor the girl and finally responded to a call I’ve heard for a long time – to sponsor!

Though money has been tight at times, God has always provided the funds for this monthly contribution.

Yet, over the years, I’ve wondered if we are making a difference or should we pull our sponsorship and find another org?  But then, I think, if I was the girl’s mother, I would want someone to keep helping her even if it’s just a small contribution.

Then, we received a progress report this week and I wept as I realized we are making a difference to at least one person as she wrote that she wanted to be a doctor and she enjoyed the classes that the org provided for her through our donation.

So, make a difference in someone’s life rather it be a sponsorship, helping the elderly neighbor with a chore, or some other small thing that won’t get you applause but will make a difference to just one person.  And, even though people on earth may not notice, God does.  And, remember, its not about just works its also about faith in Jesus.

Questions:

1) So where can you make a difference?

2) Do you often wonder if you are making a difference?  If you do know, well smile and get teary eyed.  And, even if you don’t know you are making a difference, God knows.

One Bold Step at a Time


So, as I sit here, I wonder about my life…have I fulfilled my dreams?  Not all of them and some have yet to be fulfilled.

Have I fulfilled the dreams that matter?  Or the purpose/vision for my life?  I’m on my way to fulfilling that dream of going into ministry.

Will I be able to fulfill that vision?  After all, I’m not a perfect Christian (God loves imperfect people), I feel too old to go into a ministry (yet God used a lot of “old” people in the Bible) and I don’t even know where to go to get started in a ministry.

Above all, I am an introvert – that’s right!  Writing in the background of my home office is find; however, if you get me in front of a crowd of people, I freeze up!  Though at one time in my life, I was at an out of town church and urged to get up and speak – I amazed myself as I began speaking to a crowd of people – most strangers!  And, I’ve been told I need to be as bold as a lion so I’m working on that part of me and with God’s help and strength, I can do it…after all, guys like Moses has a speech problem and he ended up going before a Pharaoh and leading a gazillion people out of Egypt – so I guess I can speak up!

Even figuring out how to get credentials will be a long process and I face the challenge of being a divorcee…yet I know God can still use me even if it takes a while to get my credentials.

Questions:

1) So what dreams do you have that need to be fulfilled?

2) What’s holding you back?  Is it minor stuff like being bashful or thinking you’re not the right age?

Well, my friends, in conclusion, I encourage you to fulfill the dreams that matter to you the most and let God handle the “small” or “big” stuff…and take small steps towards that dream like I’ve started doing by volunteering once a week at my church.  It may be simple projects; however, its giving me the experience of working in a church/ministry while working towards fulfilling the purpose of going into ministry…a calling that I heard when I was a kid and my dad was a ministry, nearly 30 years ago as I stood on the steps of another church and swept its steps or preaching in front of a crowd of strangers…

Adoption Anniversary…A Cat’s Journey


Well, in just little over a week, we will be celebrating our cat’s 4th anniversary since she came to live with us…

Her journey from the start has been interesting since we adopted her from a pet fair at a local pet store.  We already had one cat but felt she needed a companion so we made the decision to adopt.  She was a scrawny thing at that time, facing away from people, and already rejected by one potential family.  Yet, my husband wanted her even after she swiped at him with a claw.  I told him maybe we shouldn’t adopt her because he does not need a scratch from a cat.

He insisted so adopt her we did.

We took her home where our one cat became pissed even after we took our new baby into the spare bathroom.  Frightened, we left her alone until the next morning when I went in to check her.  She was scared and wanted nothing to do with us yet I sat with her for a bit and comforted her.  She cuddled with me for a few moments before backing away.

After a couple of days, I let her out and she went wild so I told my husband that maybe we should give her back.  He decided to call about her history and discovered that she was the runt, lived with an older person, and had gotten pregnant at a young age and then lost that batch.  The foster parent told us that once you got to know her, she was quite loveable so we decided to keep her and give her a chance.

Well, that chance became a challenge as I was determined to change her into a sweet cat.  It has been tough and it has taken a long time to tame her especially when she spent most of three years outside.  Even then it was a journey as she brought in everything from dead snakes, live baby bunnies, and even a rat into the house and let it loose!  Yes, many near heart attacks but I survived…

Then, unfortunately, due to issues with my husband and his health, we had to give up our older cat.  Later, we realized we should have tried other methods to prevent this cat from attacking my husband’s medical equipment, which was causing infections.

Then, our girl started to calm down as she was finally able to sleep with us and started bonding with us more.  More bonding came as we moved to an apartment and she was not able to got out.

Yet, since our move to our new town, she has become even more calm and the bonding continues to the point that she is finally warming up to even strangers and finally doing some serious cuddling.  We’ll just see how she does after we take her to a new vet this week…sigh…

Throughout this journey, she has taught us the following:

  1. That no matter what, it’s important to give not only animals a chance but humans as well.  Being patient and loving will lead to bonding and trust, which needs to be earned even with humans.
  2. Forgiveness – she has forgiven us for a lot of unintentional boo boos like me kicking her at night in my sleep, taking her to the vet for shots, leaving her alone for 2 weeks (with a cat sitter coming in to visit), and even the long trip to a new home.  Thus, we need to learn to forgive each other no matter what happens.
  3. Even cats can be service animal especially with our cat who has alerted us when hubby is low on blood sugar or even having a stroke…so listen to them when they try to tell you something.
  4. Oh, she loves company sine we always have a cats coming up to our porch and hanging out…
  5. She loves to listen when I read the Bible with her as the audience…her big eyes watch and she acts content…so read the bible aloud to your animal…

So, yeah, if you can, let your animals teach you something…after all, God made them to be companions and even possibly teach us a thing or two.

What have you learned from your pet throughout your journey?

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